[Special Study] The Pharmacokinetics of My Emotional Support Stash
A completely unnecessary appendix to the placenta series...
& an entirely serious investigation into why I feel better when there are three boxes in the cupboard
After seven posts researching placental extracts, clinical studies, manufacturing methods, fibroblasts, inflammation, oxidative stress and Japanese pharmaceutical history, I have arrived at what may be the most important scientific question of the entire series:
Why do I feel calmer when I have three boxes of Laennec in the cupboard?
I have searched the literature, reviewed the clinical studies and considered the pharmacology. Unfortunately, I have found absolutely nothing addressing this particular phenomenon.
So I may have to conduct my own longitudinal observational study.
Study design
This will be a prospective, open-label, uncontrolled, single-participant observational study.
N = 1.
The participant will be me.
The intervention is the continued presence of Laennec in my household. The primary endpoint is subjective psychological comfort associated with maintaining an adequate placenta supply.
Secondary endpoints include unnecessary stock checking, thinking about shipping times, browsing supplier websites despite having enough stock, and the sudden conviction that ordering another box is actually a very sensible health investment.
Secondary endpoints include unnecessary stock checking, thinking about shipping times, browsing supplier websites despite having enough stock, and the sudden conviction that ordering another box is actually a very sensible health investment.
Figure 1. The intervention. Three boxes of Laennec, two boxes of Melsmon and what the investigator considers an entirely reasonable household supply.
There are some obvious methodological limitations. The study is not blinded, there is no placebo group, and I am simultaneously the investigator, participant, sponsor, data analyst and person deciding whether the results are clinically meaningful.
There is also a considerable risk of investigator bias.
The proposed pharmacokinetic model
Based entirely on preliminary observations, I have developed a working model for what happens when the household Laennec supply begins to decline.
Three boxes produce a reassuring sense that everything is under control. At two boxes, I start keeping an eye on the supply. At one box, procurement thoughts begin creeping in, along with an entirely reasonable interest in shipping times.
At zero boxes, I suspect emotional homeostasis would deteriorate rapidly.
The mechanism remains unclear. It may involve dopamine, serotonin, or perhaps something much more deeply ingrained.
Maybe we were simply the Pokémon generation, and somewhere along the way Gotta catch 'em all became permanently embedded in our psyche. After spending your childhood believing that a complete collection is inherently better than an incomplete one, perhaps it was only a matter of time before the same psychological machinery was applied to pharmaceutical placenta.
Three boxes feels complete. Two feels slightly concerning. One means we should probably do something about it.
So perhaps I don't necessarily need more placenta.
I just need to know that I could have more placenta.
Further research is clearly required.
There are some obvious confounders
The biggest problem with this study is that I genuinely like Laennec. That makes it rather difficult to separate the pharmacological effect of the product from the psychological effect of simply possessing it.
There is also the possibility that the emotional benefit comes from having enough, rather than from Laennec itself.
This would mean that my personal therapeutic target isn't actually the injectable.
It's the inventory level.
If that's true, the optimal intervention may simply be keeping three boxes in the cupboard and never opening them.
Unfortunately, that would make this a very expensive placebo-controlled storage experiment.
Preliminary findings
The study is ongoing, but the early observations are encouraging. The subject continues to report a marked sense of reassurance when opening the cupboard and seeing several boxes of Laennec waiting patiently inside.
No serious adverse events have been observed, apart from an apparently irreversible tendency to acquire more placenta.
There has also been no evidence of tolerance. If anything, the opposite appears to be occurring: the longer the subject maintains a supply, the more strongly she believes that the supply should be maintained.
This phenomenon requires further investigation.
What I have learned
After spending all this time looking at the actual science behind Laennec and Melsmon, I think the funniest part is that I can now distinguish between what the evidence says and what my own brain has decided.
The evidence says placental extracts are complex biological preparations with interesting effects that are still being investigated.
My brain says:
You have three boxes. Excellent. Keep going.
The evidence says clinical outcomes need to be demonstrated rather than assumed from biological mechanisms.
My brain says:
There are only two boxes left. We should probably do something about that.
The evidence says we need larger, better-controlled studies.
My brain says:
I have evidence.
Conclusion
The study is obviously not going to win any awards for methodology.
But perhaps that is the point.
After eight posts of trying to separate biological plausibility from clinical evidence, I'm perfectly happy to admit that there is one part of the Laennec phenomenon that is entirely unscientific:
I just really, really like having it around.
Three boxes of Laennec, two boxes of Melsmon and one and a half boxes of Melamin currently constitute what I consider a healthy household balance.
Whether that represents pharmacological benefit, psychological reassurance, irrational hoarding or simply excellent cupboard management remains unknown.
A larger sample size would certainly be helpful.
Unfortunately, I am currently the only participant.
N = 1.
And the study will continue until the cupboard is empty.
Which, for obvious reasons, it never will be.
C·🌷
Research notes
Laennec
Japan Bio Products
Official product information, composition, indication and safety information.
Read the manufacturer information
Human placental extracts
Biological effects of human placental extracts: variations in manufacturing methods and compositions.
Read the full review